Monday, December 8, 2008


There's been many times I start writing my opinions regarding news stories that I've read and find myself never really publishing them. The reason for this is frankly one: Judgemental. I feel its a biased comment and in fact turns into something I'm judging, which turns into me not walking in that person's shoes...which in turn sounds judgemental...which is something I gave up doing a long time ago.

I will never say that I've never judged but frankly there are just certain things I no longer have a word about because I realized the more I was against something, the more it creeped into my life to tell me MADE me walk in their shoes. Now I listen and at times I share my opinion, my dislikes or likes but never let my opinion decide who I am friends with and who I'm not. Of course there are your extreme circumstances like child molestors...I would never be their least not knowingly.

Life can be full of drama and lets face it, it would be boring without it. Lately I've been too easy to give up...sometimes I don't know how much fight in me I have left. I've never chosen my battles wisely so I'm stuck just swinging in the air with no will. I've always fought for my friendships, my relationships...myself...and I've been left tired. So frankly speaking, when something doesn't go right, sometimes its best for me to just abandon it.

I never looked at a friendship as having something to have to work for. For me, it just came naturally. There have been times in the past where I've stopped talking to people only to talk to them again years later...wondering how we let time pass...then when it happens again, you think...oh yeah, that's why. Its hard not to argue a point and not feel bitter afterwards but if you're friends that taste should go away quick. What makes the best friend? That one's a tough one. I've had BF's in my time and many of them have betrayed that friendship. Even so, I tried to continue it, forgive them...because hey, we're friends and that's what's important...but its its a matter of 'you hurt my feelings-you've projected your own insecurities on to me-you've made me doubt myself' and now maybe it was best that you had stayed away. It sounds harsh...I feel horrible saying it, because friendship is truly important to keeps me a float, helps me ground myself when all else feels like an oblivian, helps me cry on someone's shoulders....

Of all the complexities in life, the least of it should come from your friends. The best ones know what they've done wrong and right it...the best ones are non-judgemental BUT I believe we all have the right to our opinion...whatever the choices are in this life we should have the support of our friends and family. Of course I'm not talking extreme here...this doesn't apply to something that may endanger your life or your health.

There are so many meanings of friendship but one I found to be poetic: The answer to what is the meaning of friendship lies within our hearts, because true friendship can only be felt, and not expressed. Something so pure and essential is not always visible to the eye, but is felt by the heart.